The Old Man lies back on his bed – on their bed – his feelings are in tumult and beneath his tired, hooded eyelids he slips in and out of consciousness.
He imagines suddenly that he is looking out from behind a mask over a hushed and expectant crowd. It is his birthday and he is making a speech, elevated up high upon a makeshift podium.
Silence.
There are butterflies in his stomach, an inner chaos of wings, scissors cut a red welcome ribbon, bunting and lights hang low, waiting, he opens his mouth to speak but his words are choked back by a burst of tears, red petals fall around him, scattered in celebration.
Silence
He tries to speak once again into the crackling microphone that stands in front of him: “Happy Death-day my love, you were always the life and soul of any party. You were my Life and Soul.”
“Thank you for coming my loving family and thank you my friends”
“Thank you, also, to you our good neighbourhood of Spirits”
A hazy, dark, malignant shape at the back of the crowd catches his eye and holds his gaze. He stops. The mask on his face slips and falls to the ground. He fumbles to catch it and then points his finger to the back of the room and shouts desperately:
“Damn you Uninvited Guest!”
The crowd turns around to look in unison but it has disappeared.
The Old Man awakens momentarily with a start as his eyes roll open and then close again. Thoughts and imagery swim together in a sea of emotion and he is transported back to the birth of his children:
Breathe! Breathe! / inner chaos of limbs / scissors cut the umbilical cord / “I’m here! Happy Birth-day to me”/ new ideas float out into the world / confusing combinations of new symbols / keep them grounded with our love / invisible resplendent threads that join us all / childhood memories begin / play-fighting / tears / thank them for your fears / sharp points on the top of colourful party hats worn by a line of skulls on a long white table / a happy little balloon full of breath floats on by then bursts unexpectedly / gone in an instant!
Silence
The ageing process accelerating / skin thickening / hair lengthening / he sees his scissors in one hand, the other free hand reaches out to her long snow white hair / he cuts off the ends which drift slowly down to the floor then…
Darkness
Dead-ends / severance of a life force / the ghost of your shape / a shadow over the landscape / a foreshadowing / a year without light / my distance from you / the almost audible sound of wings beating softly.
Check out the Kickstarter page for Tim Lane’s new book.
Enjoyed this article? Like Huck on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.
You might like
Kristina Rozhkova’s scatty, confronting portrait of captivity
Gut Feeling — The Russian artist’s 2024 arrest and subsequent detention opened her eye towards the omnipresent dynamics of power and control. Her new photobook is a stark exploration of being trapped.
Written by: Isaac Muk
Washing strangers’ feet at Houghton Festival
Pedilavium — As part of artist Henry Krokatsis’s performance piece at the weekender, we sat down with over 30 others to clean the dusty digits of passersby, while reflecting on the power of collective ritual and human connection.
Written by: Isaac Muk
The anti-tourism guides revealing Lisbon’s true, radical heart
We Hate Tourism Tours — The Portuguese capital sees millions of people visit a year, against a backdrop of political turbulence and a housing crisis fuelled by short term holiday lets. Jack Burke meets the crew subverting their city’s perception, while bringing lesser seen stories and monuments to light.
Written by: Jack Burke
The art of paying attention: How Austria’s Alps reward slowing down
Lebensgefühl — With a growing movement of art and music rooted in the area’s mountains, trees and waterfalls, the region is showcasing the importance of the human relationship to nature.
Written by: Sophie Lou Wilson
Inside Parkuir: the art project queering sport, space and our bodies
Lie and play — Founded by Maria Laudes and Guiu Gimeno, it provides a framework for engaging, subverting, and celebrating the small details that make people unique – and queer.
Written by: Molly Lipson
A major Nan Goldin exhibition is coming to London
You Never Did Anything Wrong — Opening at the Hayward Gallery in November, the show will debut a new film from the artist and activist, alongside a slate of recent work.
Written by: Jack Dennison-Thompson
