Anarchic drawings of sex, body image and womanhood

Cowgirl dental floss — For years, artist Heather Benjamin has been at the forefront of New York’s punk scene; creating zines, books and art that explore a range of social taboos.

Sphinxes, chimaeras, dragons and cowgirls – the women in Heather Benjamin’s artwork are mythical and riddled with symbolism. Using different shapes and forms, the New York artist’s avatars represent her emotional landscape and relationship with her body. The result? An array of brutally honest visual representations of the many complex sides of sex, womanhood and physicality – at times difficult to digest, but all undeniably real.

Starting her journey as an artist drawing Sailor Moon fanart for her peers while in school, Heather went on to grow up in the gigs and community spaces of the New York punk scene. Inevitably, this introduced her to the practice of zine-making and self-printing as a way to disseminate information cheaply and on her own terms.

Having spent years working on her own photocopied art zines discussing sex and personal relationships, as well as publishing an array of books, Heather has now expanded her practice to bigger, one-of-a-kind drawings. The artist vouches to never leave self-publishing behind, but she perceives this new format as relatively less restrictive – one that allows her to frame the narrative between the drawings within the larger context of a gallery space, rather than within a booklet that inevitably dictates a beginning and an end.

Now, ahead of the opening of her first Los Angeles exhibition, Cowgirl Dental Floss, we talk self-love, sex and going beyond Insta-friendly body positivity.

Your work is very autobiographical – what does it feel like to deal with a lot of personal journeys through a relatively public medium?
It’s always been such a natural impulse for me to make very personal work, and it does help me. I don’t even know if putting it out there helps, but making the work definitely does.

Only in the last couple of years, since I started having more visibility than before, did I realise that I’m projecting a really intense version of myself. It’s okay, though, because I’m not playing around in my work. That is the way I feel, and I am a blunt person by nature. I’ve always been someone that tells people too much information within five minutes of meeting them. My work is an extension of myself in that way. All my cards are on the table: this is what I’m going through, here’s how I feel.

The larger of an audience I have, the weirder it’s going to get that I am showing all this intimate stuff, it can feel really public at times. But I’m not going to stop doing it. If my personal work resonates and makes people feel less alone and more understood, that’s what I live for. It bounces back and makes your experience seem less isolating.

It’s interesting because your work, which mixes the grotesque with sexuality quite often, is a lot more comfortable for me to see than say, the usual over-simplified “love yourself” version of sex positivity.
There’s a lot of sex-positive “love your body” artwork, especially on Instagram. I think it’s awesome, and it’s great that there’s a platform for that, that there’s an audience for it and that that type of work it’s supported. But it doesn’t resonate with me – it’s too one-dimensional for how complicated I feel about stuff. I feel gross and confused and angry at my body a lot of the time. I think I personally benefit more from seeing complicated representations of what it’s like to inhabit a body, since that’s something I spend a lot of time thinking about and feeling.

Making explicit, graphic artwork – and especially when women make it – seems more accepted right now that it has been in the past. I’m sure it’s obvious through my work, but I have a really complicated relationship with self-perception, my body, sex and intimacy. That’s why I’m making the work I do – because I’m struggling with that and trying to work through it. I hope that by putting out work about a more complicated experience of being in a human body, that can resonate with other people who also have a very multifaceted relationship with themselves, and maybe make that experience feel less isolating.

A lot of the women in your work are almost mythical – I was wondering if there’s any particular mythical story that you particularly love that informs that?
There are so many! A lot of the time it’s not about a specific story, but rather about my gut feeling on representing my protagonist, which is basically always an avatar for some facet of my experience. When I was drawing the sphinxes for a long time, it had so much to do with this silent, strong and regal gatekeeping presence. After that, I switched to drawing the dogs, and that was about feeling feral, but also wanting to be taken care of but not necessarily need that. With the Cowgirls, it’s been about coming back to a human form, but wearing and wielding the symbolism instead of completely being it.

I do read a lot ­– I’ll often fall into internet hole of like reading about a sphynx from this side of the world, then a similar goddess from the other side. The ones who like, decapitate and triumph over the evil dudes are always the best.

The current work you’re making seems a lot lighter than your previous work – how do you feel it represents the journey you’re in currently?
All my phases of work really run parallel to what’s going on in my life, what I’m thinking about, what I’m going through because that’s why I make work. I wouldn’t necessarily say that the work is “lighter” now, because it’s not like I’m feeling great now. I’m just working through things in a different way than I did when I was younger. Maybe with a bit less severity, because that feels less productive to me than it did before.

Now, I’m trying to figure out exactly who I am, and what direction I’m going in. I think drawing non-human forms had a lot to do with not feeling in touch with my body – and I think starting to draw the human form again had to do with trying to relate to myself more viscerally in the real world again. I think sometimes I’m drawing what’s already going on in my mind, what already exists, but at other times I feel like I’m trying to guide myself somewhere by drawing, manifest something. 

You’ve worked independently for a very long time – what is your advice for someone who might be doubting themselves?
I think that the most important thing is to not think too much about how people are going to receive your work. I know it’s really hard, and I struggle with that too, but I try to remember how I felt when I was younger – less concerned – and embody that now. When I was first starting out, I would make drawings on printer paper, photocopy them and hang them up anywhere I thought people might see them, or go up to people I admired at book fairs and give them my zines all the time – and I still do. Just putting yourself out there is good.

My advice is just to make the work that you feel good about, put it out there in as many ways as you can. Be confident that it’s going to resonate with somebody, somewhere, and put it out there. Not to oversimplify it, but it is that simple: you just need to go for it.

Cowgirl Dental Floss is open until the April 21 at These Days gallery in Los Angeles.

Follow Heather Benjamin on Instagram.

Follow Biju Belinky on Twitter.

Enjoyed this article? Like Huck on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.


Ad

Latest on Huck

Red shop frontage with "Open Out" branding and appointment-only signage.
Activism

Meet the trans-led hairdressers providing London with gender-affirming trims

Open Out — Since being founded in 2011, the Hoxton salon has become a crucial space the city’s LGBTQ+ community. Hannah Bentley caught up with co-founder Greygory Vass to hear about its growth, breaking down barbering binaries, and the recent Supreme Court ruling.

Written by: Hannah Bentley

Cyclists racing past Palestinian flag, yellow barriers, and spectators.
Sport

Gazan amputees secure Para-Cycling World Championships qualification

Gaza Sunbirds — Alaa al-Dali and Mohamed Asfour earned Palestine’s first-ever top-20 finish at the Para-Cycling World Cup in Belgium over the weekend.

Written by: Isaac Muk

Crowded festival site with tents, stalls and an illuminated red double-decker bus. Groups of people, including children, milling about on the muddy ground.
© Alan Tash Lodge
Music

New documentary revisits the radical history of UK free rave culture

Free Party: A Folk History — Directed by Aaron Trinder, it features first-hand stories from key crews including DiY, Spiral Tribe, Bedlam and Circus Warp, with public streaming available from May 30.

Written by: Isaac Muk

Weathered wooden building with a tall spire, person on horseback in foreground.
Culture

Rahim Fortune’s dreamlike vision of the Black American South

Reflections — In the Texas native’s debut solo show, he weaves familial history and documentary photography to challenge the region’s visual tropes.

Written by: Miss Rosen

A collage depicting a giant flup for mankind, with an image of the Earth surrounded by planets and people in sci-fi costumes.
Culture

Why Katy Perry’s space flight was one giant flop for mankind

Galactic girlbossing — In a widely-panned, 11-minute trip to the edge of the earth’s atmosphere, the ‘Women’s World’ singer joined an all-female space crew in an expensive vanity advert for Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin. Newsletter columnist Emma Garland explains its apocalypse indicating signs.

Written by: Emma Garland

Three orange book covers with the title "Foreign Fruit" against a dark background.
Culture

Katie Goh: “I want people to engage with the politics of oranges”

Foreign Fruit — In her new book, the Edinburgh-based writer traces her personal history through the citrus fruit’s global spread, from a village in China to Californian groves. Angela Hui caught up with her to find out more.

Written by: Katie Goh

Huck is supported by our readers, subscribers and Club Huck members. It is also made possible by sponsorship from:

Signup to our newsletter

Sign up to our newsletter to informed with the cutting edge of sport, music and counterculture, featuring personal takes on the state of media and pop culture from Emma Garland, former Digital Editor of Huck, exclusive interviews, recommendations and more.

Please wait...

Accessibility Settings

Text

Applies the Open Dyslexic font, designed to improve readability for individuals with dyslexia.

Applies a more readable font throughout the website, improving readability.

Underlines links throughout the website, making them easier to distinguish.

Adjusts the font size for improved readability.

Visuals

Reduces animations and disables autoplaying videos across the website, reducing distractions and improving focus.

Reduces the colour saturation throughout the website to create a more soothing visual experience.

Increases the contrast of elements on the website, making text and interface elements easier to distinguish.