Full English breakfasts around the UK were ruined this morning as we learned that British Prime Minister David Cameron is alleged to have had sex with a dead pig. As bacon was eyed warily and left uneaten on the edges of plates across the country, more details emerged.
A new unauthorised biography of the Tory PM entitled Call Me Dave, co-written ex-Tory peer Lord Ashcroft and journalist Isabel Oakeshott claims that David Cameron put his penis inside a dead pig’s mouth as part of an initiation ritual at a university dinner club. The biography also claims Cameron was part of a “dope smoking group” called the Flam Club, while studying PPE at Oxford University in the 1980s.
More seriously, the book also alleges that Cameron was aware in 2009 that Ashcroft had non-dom status, which would allow the Tory donor to legally not pay UK tax on overseas earnings. When this was made public in March 2010, just before the general election, Cameron claimed to have been aware of it for less than a month.
An Oxford contemporary of Cameron who is now a distinguished MP made the pig-related claim to the book’s authors and said they had seen photographic evidence of the act of porkery. However, the supposed owner of the offending picture did not respond to the authors’ approaches.
The story echoes a 2011 episode of Channel 4 series Black Mirror, in which a fictional prime minister is forced by terrorists/hoaxers to have sex with a pig live on air in order to save a kidnapped princess. On hearing the news, writer Charlie Brooker tweeted:
Shit. Turns out Black Mirror is a documentary series.
— Charlie Brooker (@charltonbrooker) September 20, 2015
In the absence of the tell-tale photograph, the internet has filled the gap by providing hilarious responses the unfolding ‘PigGate’ saga. Here are some of our favourites.
The world reacts – @StreetsKitchen
50 Shades of Bacon
Dave’s gettin’ piggy with it
Porkback Mountain – @MariBiscuits
Time for a Conservative rebrand – @EnterElysium
It was always going to come to this… – Chris Simpsons
Always check the label – @W4RN3R1969
What were you doing in the ’80s? – @Ciaran
A musical tribute
Just a coincidence?
Corbyn gets his revenge – @LiannaBrinded
Another suspect comes forward
Kermit’s not taking the news so well… – @GordonRFC13
Time proves Jeremy Corbyn right, again.
How will he spin his way out of this one?
Can be harmful to health – @paddypower
Brightening commutes across the capital – @Southernerlogic
“Narcoleptically being porked to death by the biggest porker in Westminster” – Max Keiser
Cancel all pig-related social activities. Immediately.
You’ll never see the meat counter the same way again…
The Mirror attempt to put his actions in context.
Diplomacy enters a new era – @adjwilson
Seen any great ones we’ve missed? Tweet us @HuckMagazine.